Vanity of Vanities - All Is Vanity!!!

Yes, I am currently under judgment for my vain ways... and my stupidity.

It all started Monday. I decided that I would bath in the sun and achieve the awe-inspiring tan (not that many people would ever see it, I just wanted to see what I would look like if I had a tan - maybe I would transform into a movie star - who knows?).

So, I began my diabolical plan to destroy my skin (tans are signs of damaged skin). I went out to the back parcel of our property where there would surely be nobody to see me and laid out on my lawn chair in a pair of shorts while listening to "The Millionaire Next Door." I had no sunscreen on (slows down the tanning process, ya know). After about an hour, I rolld over and let the sun back my back (this is in the hottest part of the day, btw). After another hour I went inside to prepare for my workout. I felt great.

Four hours later I was well on my way to achieving nicknames like "Pinky" and "Lobsterback."

That was Monday. This is Thurday. I still hurt.